richa and me janmashtmi 2014

richa
you look very pleased and happy
in all the janmashtmi photos of august 2014
i think i know the reason
mummy gave you a surprise return back home from faridabad 
isnt it 

"I was like this from childhood only".

I remember richa saying, looking at the one photo- where she is doing mala jaap in front of mandir- "I was like this from childhood only".

On Thursday, June 4, 2015,

 Mahek Kochhar 

I used to address Richa as richu ma ; mehek

Many a times, I used to address Richa as richu ma, as she always gave me sound advice just like my mom does.

Mahek Kochhar

11 june 2015 

Two of us, carefree, dancing away in the garden at midc ; meheku and richa

Dear bhaiya,

Richa and my relationship never changed, even with the distance, I would rather say, it grew stronger.

So I met Richa around 2004, I was in college then, at St.Xaviers. This is when I had done the course and wanted everyone I knew to do it, so got involved in art of living activities. During this time, richu and I grew very close. Thats when u saw me often.

In 2008, after i graduated with economic majors, I was pondering about future studies. I even had a conversation with Your dad. I wanted to do an mba. That year all my attempts were futile, as i did not clear the entrance. 

On introspection I realised i had to solely devote myself to it. And I remember richa whole heartedly supporting me- with time tables, alarms, motivational speeches.

2009-2011, I did my mba at Jamnalal Bajaj Institute of Management studies. 

2011-2012, I went to Delhi to work for Ranbaxy as Brand Manager. Richu even came to stay with me for a day in delhi. she was soo happy to see me all grown up.

2013- I got married and got all occupied with my family responsibilities. Richu came to my wedding too, she had promised to come to my new home... I keep telling aunty, she has to come now.

That is why u saw me little at midc and even later at hiranandani.

On the contrary, While i was away, so many more people got close to richu- ram, gayatri, Dharmista, shambhavi others.. Im grateful to all of them for being there always. I think i was possessive about our friendship, we did not need anyone around when we were together. 

I think the distance was for a reason, for Richa to touch more lives. 

Looking back, 2004-2007, I can bet those were the bestest years of my life. 

Two of us, carefree, dancing away in the garden at midc. Just happy. Very happy, without a reason 

Mahek

richa tujhe mera shaasthaang pranaam

meri choti behen 

har samaye bhakti mein leen 

seva , seva , seva

uska jeevan hi thaa doosron ke liye 

woh khud ke liye kabhi nahi jee

richa tujhe mera shaasthaang pranaam 

jai shreeman narayan

jai shri krishna

jai shiv shambho

jai durga maa

jai sri sri ravi shankar 

jai richa !

maa se pooch ke hi gayee hai

bhaiya we have to call doctor master for mom 

bhaiya dont organise all this,  it puts a lot of stress on mom 

maa se pooch ke hi gayee hai , maa ne kaha ab tum jaao , woh chali gayee

saakshaat laxmiji ka roop

meri choti behen 

saakshaat laxmiji ka roop

deepawali ke din panditji se raksha sutra bandhwa rahi hai

itni beemar andar se , lekin lal chunri mein itni sundar

chehere pe tez

devi , saakshaat devi 

bees din baad khud hi prajvalit ho gayee , diwaali ke diye ki tarah , humaare dilon mein abhi bhi prajvalit hai aur sadaa rahegi

chapter has ended with the leaving of shambhavi

today it feels like a " chapter coming to an end "

a chapter of my familys journey with the art of living parts of richa since nov 2014 

that chapter has ended with the  leaving  of shambhavi 

living together with the art of living gang was a chapter

it closes now

I feel Richa is my advance course, Richa is my Guru, Richa is my God,

4^th June,2015.

To,

Mehek,

Dear Meheku,

I know Richa would have loved that I would participate him Art of living more and more  and definitely do an advanced course.

I don’t know why I have so much resistance. I just can't understand. I really enjoyed going through books of Shri Shri Ravi Shanker and listening to his talks, but I don’t have that motivation to do the advanced course.

Secondly, somehow I still don't find Art of living a very serious spiritual organisation.

But what I love the most about Art of living is the kind of community feeling and bonding with you people have, it is truly amazing.

How much love, Richa had for all of you and how much love all of you have for her and after she left her body, without the support which we got from you, your brother, your parents and rest of her friends. I don’t  think me and my parents would have survived even one day.

Take the example of Atul bhaiya, he came from Delhi at the very last minute, but the way he worked for making all the necessary arrangements. It was really incredible.

The kind of emotional support we have received from the Art of living gang is incredible.

The most appealing and attractive part of art of living is this part only.

The love which you have for each other. The support you give each other.

No matter how much I try I am unable to find that interest and motivation to join Art of living as a serious candidate.

Even for the advanced course I am unable to gather that courage and motivation.

What to do?

In fact, I am trying my best to everyday remember how Richa lived her life and I am trying to learn from her a few things daily for example love.

She truly practised naturally spontaneously selfless love. She was so kind and gentle. She never spoke ill about anybody. I remember so many times. Criticising people she never responded, never said a word, she would  just listen to me but never said anything.

There are so many amazing things about her which I feel I need to learn.

I feel Richa is my advanced course, Richa is my Guru,
Richa is my God,

Believe me for me, Richa is no longer my younger sister. She is my Guru, She is my guide, She is my God and I think I would like to imbibe as much as of her qualities as possible.

Wishing you all the best.

Warm regards,

Ashish Bagrodia

richa and her love for the goddess and yagnas

how do i make up for my bad behaviour with shambhavi , how ?

dear richa

one more friend of yours has left 

as if one last part of you and your world ( aol ) also has left

i just learnt it now

since then intense grief engulfs me

shambhavi has shifted to another place

the worse is that i did not even speak to her in last few months as i had issues , you know my nature isn't it 

once again i face guilt and regret , remorse 

a lesson indeed , when will i learn !

she must have felt extremely unwelcomed and unwanted as i gave her such a cold shoulder 

months passed

i didnt talk to her

she had several times expressed her feelings in last few months  seeking forgiveness whereas i am the one who is to be blamed for treating her like this , she was with us , i should have made her feel at home , i didn't do that at all

now , its too late

no going back !

she spent some very sensitive moments with me , prior to the 13 th nov as well as after 13 th nov

those were very intense moments

shall remain ingrained forever 

i am lost richa , once again

help me

i want to make up for my " cruel and cold " behaviour with your dear friend

i keep remembering her whispering in your ears on the 13 th evening 

also , so many other things , for example the correspondence we had with each other ( she and me ) on searching a house nearby to the bombay hospital , her speaking to guruji , etc etc

i am reliving all those moments now 

its intense

v intense

not easy at all

she touched my feet and took blessings on the 19th april in the organic fest , i remember that now repeatedly  , also the photo we got taken of me and her

thank god

one good thing i did , i got that photo taken 

dear richa will you not feel lonely too without her 

she would visit you in your room when she was staying here 

earlier too she has spent so much time here with you , in 2013 isnt it 

remember the night when you called me there , she had danced , i think so , did you see her dancing or you were in your room 

i in fact told you jokingly , i get frightened when she dances too close to me , she might just topple my wheelchair , remember

help me richa

help me to make up for my having ill treated her

she must have felt miserable , totally unwanted and unwelcome

i must make up now 

i must

your idiot brother

is it true " woh phir nahi aate "

Summary of discussion with respected Baiji today evening on 27th May, evening time between 8 pm. and 9 pm.

Summary of discussion with respected Baiji today evening on 27th May, evening time between 8 pm. and 9 pm.

Regarding Sonu, lady teacher who was teacher of Richa didi in South Bombay of Bal vikas.  Richa didi going in white salwar kameej looking so cute. 

Then Anjali bhabi also remembering the fact that Richa didi was part of Balvikas. 

Story regarding Shambhai Mithaiwala.  And Richa sitting on his lap, eating biscuit or something.  Telling him stories of our house, what she learnt in school.  And he would be smiling.  Not been able to insist on her to do any dancing.  And his wife who was strict who would scold Richa. 

Regarding Sita house maid to search her. 

Regarding Sukku bai, who used to live near Ban Ganga. 

Regarding Alice in the wonderland.  And Hima Devi.  

Regarding the story told by Gayatri didi.  that Richa would keep telling her that there is no time and that we have to do more work.  because there is no time left.   

Regarding the letter or the card given to respected Baiji by Richa didi.  it has been mentioned that my mother also taught me how to do Ballet dance.  And the fact that Richa didi learnt Ballet from foreigner lady for which respected Baiji had arranged           Leotard from Mahesh Tauji from some foreign country. 

After respected Baiji came from Delhi in August, Richa didi was told by Baiji that your health has got spoiled because of you only.  You do not take care of yourself.  You should take care of yourself.  So Richa didi angrily said, who is bothered about me.  who has done anything for me.  whenever I fall sick, simply I am hospitalized, injection and then I come home.  Who is bothered?

Richa didi told Baiji once in a very sad moment that mummy I am telling you koi kisi ka nahi hain.  You should not waste time in watching TV and all these serials.  You should participate in satsang and do satsang. 

The first 20 years of Richa didi life was very good.  She lived very happily.  She suffered only in the end.  And then withdrew herself from everybody.  Went inside the world of art of living. 

She was the darling of all at childhood.  Because she was born after so many years.  Even the domestic staff like Teja and Govind used to take good care. 

We must find out, if there are photos of Richa didi of the Srimad Bhagwatham programme in Calcutta for which I will write to Sandeep Babu. 

Apart from videos there may be other photos of Richa didi in the marriage  attended by her of Sanjay bhaiya and Shailu bhaiya and others for which also I will write to them. 

Respected Baiji explained the fact that she did not go to the hospital.  Because she does not want.  She does not want Richa to get attached to her.  she did not her soul to get stuck in Mo maya, especially Mother. 

my guiding light and my inspiration

dear  Richa 

Sometimes seeing the photos I realize, why you withdrew and went completely into the world of Art of living.  It was due to somewhere down the line, you did not feel that you are loved and paid enough attention.  I think, that happens, especially when you are born late.  Also your brief  stay in Baroda, somehow hurt you somewhere.  Therefore in Bombay you tried to make your own life.  And you escaped from all the grief and pain to Art of Living.  And that became the world of yours.  The love you did not get from us, you got it from there.  You spent last 10 years with your friends, who gave you love and you gave them love. 

I was completely lost in my work and in my women  And then I could not even see your suffering.  I was blind

The only way now to live  is with regret, guilt, remorse, and thoughts about you, missing you.  Everything about you, your lovingness, your dedication.  Everything about you, I will probably learn eventually  to live with this wound gaping open and bleeding 

I think, the only way to communicate with you.  I will have to start talking to you on day to day basis.  What do you think about this idea. 

Best wishes,

Seeking your blessing as you are now my guiding light and my inspiration. 

Your loving brother. 

my response to sp ( so that she may inform richa )

tell her

that her brother cries daily almost daily

he is unable to live without her physical presence

tell her to meet me , hug me and kiss me and talk to me

tell her i dont want to live without her

tell her to wait for me

i and she will meet and unite for ever

but in the meanwhile tell to meet me soon

ab

from sp 3 june 2015

Dear AB,

This is regarding dream about Richa one was she came to meet me n she was waiting down fr me when I asked her to come she said I'm waiting will come n with a smiling face donno what she is trying to say.( I can never forget the smile she gives fr me)

Another one was her death anniversary I saw the full grand function so many people around n so many haven going on so many pandits n grand food arrangements like a shadi all was performed by u ,u were so busy giving instructions n I was waiting to meet u n u were so busy n u were sitting n doing haven, this is not a story I see everyday different dreams but I remember only some n when I don't remember n try to recollect I strain myself thinking.

I even had dream before I thought not important but some I feel I shud let you know may be she is trying convey some msgs fr you since u miss her a lot.

The day these dream came I wanted to let you know but I don't get time to mail as I have to type phone is easy fr to me to convey.

Just thought of sharing

Take care
SP

tere mast mast nain