To,
Paulomi,
Dear Paulomi,
At 7.15 PM on 20 April I had phoned you but you did not pick up. I think you must have got busy at the airport with the check-in.
I was really missing you and feeling very bad that you left.
In fact, I'm going to write a small blog post. In fact, I'm going to write a small blog post about this, the thought which came to my mind was "Richa, first you left and now even your friends have gone".
You really were a big emotional support for the entire family, especially for my mother and to some extent for me also.
There is no doubt that I found you kind of overdoing your being nice-nice initially, but then my opinion kept changing about you and in fact I have realised that deep inside you, you are so genuine and the good thing about you is that you are knowledgeable and people who have knowledge normally gel well with me.
The best thing about you is that you actually feel towards others and that is what really life is all about.
When you think of Richa, you will feel the same, I haven't come across anybody except Richa who genuinely would feel in that moment towards each person and would want to help that person, genuinely, from the inner core of her being.
One of the most memorable times which I have spent with you is that evening when we heard Tulsi Das mono act by Shekher Sen.
You are a brilliant actress and you imitate very well.
I personally find you are very beautiful and attractive. Maybe it is the inner beauty which comes out in a very special way.
I will miss you a lot and I will keep writing e-mails to you because I think phone calls are going to be difficult as you hardly pick up the phone.
I'm not using WhatsApp at all because for that I will have to use a mobile phone. My hands are not that strong to continuously keep typing on mobile phones.
So I'll talk to you on e-mail and whenever you have time you can respond.
I think for my mother the real pain is now going to start because I think so far to a great extent, she lived in a world of Richa even without Richa physically being there. Now that world of Richa also is more or less gone.
I think for her is going to be a challenge now. I'm really worried about my mother, although I know she is a very strong woman, but yet I am worried.
Make sure that you speak to my mother every day once without fail.
Is it due to Richa or is it due to the person which you are genuinely, I don't know but I feel I have developed a strong connection to you and I hope that this will bring wisdom, true love, genuineness, compassion and lot of other good stuff to me.
Keep sending photos on e-mail if possible of whatever you do, for example, the courses you conduct people, you meet people, you visit, also streets, particularly street food all about your travels because I think you have a very exciting life.
When you and Santosh were sitting with me, I was like actually imagining how these places must be, how Thapar University must be, how does the campus look like, where do you people sit, where do you eat, where do you do your courses, how are the streets of Punjab, what is your house in Punjab. You people go from one place to the other. How do you travel. You are going to stay tonight in the house of Atul Bhaiyya, how is the house, what food you will eat. Tomorrow you will take a train, how is the train. I was just thinking about it and feeling very bad because I wish I could experience this directly with you.
God has given me a certain physical challenge and this keeps me bound to my room and in my own limited life otherwise I would have definitely want to travel with you and actually experience how it is to be a teacher in art of living.
It can be tiring, I'm sure, but it is a very exciting life because you keep travelling all the time, meeting new people experiencing new places and I think when we interact with young people specially, students and stay with them in the campus it can be a completely different ballgame.
Unfortunately I've never experienced it. So there is a fair amount of envy.
Wish you all the best Paulomi.
Give my love to Santosh.
This time I don't know why I felt a little more connection towards him, so far I think my connection to Santosh was superficial, but this time I don't know something changed in me, somehow something changed in me towards Santosh.
I take a lot of time to actually start feeling towards a person deep inside, I have hardly met Santosh and I don't know why but this time, something inside me changed towards him.
The same thing I felt with you. I think my feelings for you were different in November, different in December, different in January, different in February, but I think from March onwards I genuinely started having real respect and affection for you.
I think since March it started changing.
Tell Ankur whenever he is in Bombay to come and see me if possible, but my timings are pretty bad. So if he can come late nights, I will love to spend time with him.
Your student Ravi is a great photographer and I like his body in the sense not in a homosexual way, but the fact that he is well built and big. Whenever I see him I sort of feel I wish I had him as a bodyguard around me.
Looks like a tough guy to me.
He is a great photographer. I mean, I have hardly come across a person who really knows how to hold the camera and press the shutter at the correct moment.
Honestly, he is really a great photographer. I think he should continue his interest in photography if time permits. It is a great hobby.
Do convey my remembrance to him.
There is a strange but very-very love evoking quality in Ankur. To be honest with you, I've not been able to gel with Vishnu at all, somehow I ahve still not connected.
I'm like that, it takes a long time to actually connect to people.
Now that you have told me that Ravi had spent a lot of time with Richa, I will want to really meet him and talk to him about her. Also I want him to send me photos of Richa whatever he has them with him.
Sorry for these long e-mails. I have the luxury of getting them typed from somebody else. So I don't realise that there are people who will have to actually read these e-mails if at all they want to.
Ashish Bagrodia
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