how do i make up for my bad behaviour with shambhavi , how ?

dear richa

one more friend of yours has left 

as if one last part of you and your world ( aol ) also has left

i just learnt it now

since then intense grief engulfs me

shambhavi has shifted to another place

the worse is that i did not even speak to her in last few months as i had issues , you know my nature isn't it 

once again i face guilt and regret , remorse 

a lesson indeed , when will i learn !

she must have felt extremely unwelcomed and unwanted as i gave her such a cold shoulder 

months passed

i didnt talk to her

she had several times expressed her feelings in last few months  seeking forgiveness whereas i am the one who is to be blamed for treating her like this , she was with us , i should have made her feel at home , i didn't do that at all

now , its too late

no going back !

she spent some very sensitive moments with me , prior to the 13 th nov as well as after 13 th nov

those were very intense moments

shall remain ingrained forever 

i am lost richa , once again

help me

i want to make up for my " cruel and cold " behaviour with your dear friend

i keep remembering her whispering in your ears on the 13 th evening 

also , so many other things , for example the correspondence we had with each other ( she and me ) on searching a house nearby to the bombay hospital , her speaking to guruji , etc etc

i am reliving all those moments now 

its intense

v intense

not easy at all

she touched my feet and took blessings on the 19th april in the organic fest , i remember that now repeatedly  , also the photo we got taken of me and her

thank god

one good thing i did , i got that photo taken 

dear richa will you not feel lonely too without her 

she would visit you in your room when she was staying here 

earlier too she has spent so much time here with you , in 2013 isnt it 

remember the night when you called me there , she had danced , i think so , did you see her dancing or you were in your room 

i in fact told you jokingly , i get frightened when she dances too close to me , she might just topple my wheelchair , remember

help me richa

help me to make up for my having ill treated her

she must have felt miserable , totally unwanted and unwelcome

i must make up now 

i must

your idiot brother